Life of a Working Mum.

So as everyone knows, I've been a single stay home mum for awhile now. Actually for a long while. Also, from my last post, I mentioned that I've got a job now! Yay indeed! 

So now, the truth. Brace thyself.

Its hard. I miss Michael heaps when I'm at work. I have withdral symptoms and it hurts. It isn't as hard to leave if I leave while he's still asleep but oh man if he's awake. 

It pulls at your heart wh he looks so confused seeing you leave so early in the morning, all dressed up and he isn't invited to tag along. How he rushes to get his shoes on. Then when he realises he isn't tagging along for the day, he just sticks his foot out the gate and waves bye. Keeps saying bye bye! Mwah! 

But it gets easier. I remember feeling like pulling my hair out at times cause I was just so tired or just didn't have time to myself, when I was a stay home mum. So I see this as my alone time especially since I've barely ever had any alone time for the last 22 months! Whatever I feel as I leave for work, goes away knowing I am doing the best I possibly can as a parent. Also knowing that I am fulfilling my duty and responsibility as a parent completely. The evenings home are treasured moments. The games get more fun. The giggles get more adorable. The hugs feel more beautiful. The weekends are pure quality time with le family. 

Its my birthday today! Yay me! Took a day off. Slept in and had such a chilled day with family, it was amazing! Very random, but very true. By the way, Prego's has THE best Italian food ever. Like I just don't understand how they're so amazing. Okay just saying. 

Well, I gotta say, this is the best off and best birthday ever!

*I have the utmost respect for all the single working mothers out there. Its hard, I get it and yet we do it because our mini mes depend on us. 

The respect I have for my mum is even more than anyone can imagine. She worked a few jobs, cause well we were no Donald Trumps. Was harder when my dad was around but did nothing to help, financially, physically or emotionally. She pulled through, gave me everything I needed and more. She spent quality time with me. Raised me singlehandedly and did a remarkable job. Taught me everything I know. I'm not a perfect person, neither am I a perfect mother and I'm well aware, I'm aware cause I see a perfect mother daily and that's my mum.

A year since..

Its been close to a year that I haven't blogged. Gotta admit, its crossed my mind to pen some thoughts down but its been a very hectic and tiresome beginning of the year.Its past July now, my birthday is coming and boy will this be a long post!

Ever just reach the point of exhaustion where you just sit and cry? Basically, yea that was me for awhile. You just get so stressed out about things that weren't going your way but it doesn't stop there, oh no no. It just keeps going downhill. 

One hit after another. 

If you've been through that, it'll get better, but it takes its damn time to get better.

 Never been through that, you lucky bastard.

Well, let's see..

I'm a single mum now. 

Yea, well for those of you who knew, good.

And those of you who didn't, surprise! 

Do I regret anything? No. 

Am I happy? Fuck yea.

Is it easy? Hell no. 

I was struggling. Up to my eyelids in debt and just struggling to stay afloat. 

Adding the emotional and mental abuse from the hurtful and insensitive words, I was dying.

Cried a lot. Got depressed a lot. Stressed out a lot.

Finally, after a great big decision that I made, by myself. Well.. I can finally say that I am happy and I've just reached that place where I know that I'm doing something right and I've got a plan. 

A good one. 

The best one I've ever made actually cause I know that I'm not gonna be the only benefiting from the decision I made to end the relationship, but my son will be having a much better future and he will also have people around him that love him so damn much. 

People that would easily cut off a limb for him. 

So it should be pretty easy to get that I have basically given up on men and relationships. I quite like doing the solo thing. No one to answer to or argue with. No one to annoy me or hurt me. I was thinking about it and told my mum that I'm actually traumatized and now even after Michael is older and leaves the house, I will be so damn happy just sitting and drinking tea all day!

Anyway, that aside.

Michael has grown! Oh hell, has he boy. 

Bloody sack of potatoes! And when he stands beside me, he's just a little under my hip. 

He eats a tonne of food! Still loves french fries.

He walks, runs, jumps, dances like a pro.

He still can't talk though. That's the only sad part. He says Wow and Ball but not much else. 

He's a real uncle though, basically grumbles about a lot of things but in his own lingo.

I'm also employed full time now. When I said I am a single mum, I don't mean I'm single and receiving Child Support, I mean I'm doing everything solo. 

Solo Dolo. 

So I've got a job, not too shabby a pay and the people are fucking great! That's all that matters right? The colleagues and environment. The work load can be dealt with. The people, that makes your day move good.

I've got a new tattoo! 

Yea I got one at 16ish years and I've added to it. 

Its for Michael of course! The only man I would actually tattoo myself for. 

So Michael'll be going to school next year. And once that is settled, I'm gonna settle myself in school as well. Education is so important, how is it we don't see it when we're in school but crave it when we're out of it.

Omg okay so I think I've pretty much gone through all that has happened. 

Oh, I got into an accident like 2 months ago and smashed the fucking car. 

Man, that was bad and traumatizing as well. 

So, everyone needs to get a camera for their car cause it wasn't my fault and my damages went sky high. So go get a camera! 

That has no link to anything but well since I'm going on about the beginning of the year.

By the way, potty training is a bitch.